


Madness and Mint

by the_tilly



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Hellblazer & Related Fandoms
Genre: Anal Sex, Author doesn't know how magic works, Barebacking, Biting, Blood, Bottom Joker (DCU), Explicit Sexual Content, Improper use of magic, John Constantine Being an Asshole, M/M, Magic Made Them Do It, Sex Magic, Top John Constantine, but tries her best, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:47:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22659571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_tilly/pseuds/the_tilly
Summary: A chance meeting in the caves under Arkham lead to an interesting outcome.
Relationships: John Constantine/Joker (DCU)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 49





	Madness and Mint

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mellie_Art](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mellie_Art/gifts).



> This was a request by the lovely melody1987. Make sure you check out her work!

There were only a few things that drew John’s attention. Sometimes literally when others came around hoping for his help or knowledge. Not that his help was something people should go looking for. There was a tendency for bad shit to happen. But this was different.

Everyone knew about Arkham Asylum. The Island connected to Gotham like an anchor as though attempting to drag the city under. There was a pulse coming from its walls. And it wasn’t new either. Something had been lurking there for nearly a century and that, well… makes John _curious_.

After all, there wasn’t much John wasn’t aware of.

John walked cautiously through the underground caves under the Asylum and kept his path barely visible. Whatever presence that made its home in the belly of Arkham had lived in the caves for at least a century. A creature or demon that hid away under Batman’s nose wasn’t something John wanted alerted to his presence.

John took a deep breath as he reached a junction in the caves. Under the musty scent of still water, there was a hint of sulfur. A touch of ash in the air that left John wanting to light a cigarette and his fingers twitching towards his pack.

There would be time for that once he found the bastard.

“Oh, wasn’t expecting a _tourist_ ,” a voice called out, laced with humor.

John turned towards the sound, holding up his light. Game was over if it was the spirit, and if not, well… John might at least find out something.

“Wasn’t expecting a local,” John quipped back.

“I would give you the tour, but I was on my way out,” said the voice just as the person stepped into the light. Pale skin, shocking green hair, and a stretched grin across red lips greeted John. If the figure wasn’t one of the most recognizable faces in the world, John might consider this person as what caused the disturbance. He was an otherworldly looking fellow. The hospital dress was a nice touch though. 

“Shame that,” John said, tipping his head. “I could use a guide towards a group of stones in here. Probably with dried blood on them.”

Joker’s eyes peered at John as though assessing him. John could almost feel the gaze across his body, barely pausing at the dagger hidden but enough that John was aware Joker knew it was there. Then up his chest, the slope of his neck, and resting on the shiner he received when coming to Gotham.

Joker’s grin widened.

“Oh, I know the Bat’s work when I see it,” he said, practically springing forward to get a closer look at the bruise. “I thought he saved the right hook for me.”

“Lucky me then,” John lightly breathed in when Joker was near, noticing the sulfur smell seemed to have disappeared around the clown. That was something interesting alright. “He didn’t want me finding out whatever it is that’s haunting these caves.”

Joker’s eyes turned assessing once again. John smiled this time.

“Want to help piss him off?”

Joker let out a cackle that echoed through the caves.

John wasn’t surprised that Joker knew his way through the caves without aid of a light. It was as though he had a perfect map of the cave system in his head, dodging obstacles with ease, as he chatted the whole way. John was only half listening to what the clown talked away, as he noticed the lingering scents in the air, and the fading magic. As though it bent around Joker’s form like waves to a ship at sea.

That was the most intriguing part. Something about Joker scared whatever was down here. But even with light spell checks, John couldn’t sense anything magical or mystical about his newfound friend. His helpful friend who led him straight into a carved section of the caves that was the bottom of an old mine shaft.

John looked up the decayed walls, his hand reaching out towards them. Patterns glowed as John waved his arm, quickly reading the enchantments before the amber light faded in the dark. Pieces of knowledge stitched together as John slowly made his way around the area, with Joker trailing on his heels, practically breathing down his neck as John worked.

John didn’t realize the Joker had stopped talking during this time until Joker let out a low whistle.

“Impressive light show,” Joker said. “Got any more tricks up your sleeve? Gonna pull a rabbit out of that coat of yours next?”

“Left them in my other coat, love,” John snarked with a smirk then reached in his pocket, pulling out his lighter and gave it a flick. “But how about some fire?”

Joker crossed his arms as though deeply unimpressed by John’s display. John’s lips quirked up at the pout. He was starting to wonder why Batman had so much trouble with this man. He certainly seemed reasonable to John. And as John’s eyes quickly ran over Joker’s form, quite easy on the eyes if feminine men were on the list. Luckily, John’s list was _very_ long. Especially given how the last time he had sex it was during one of his drunken stupors and he’s not even sure he got har—

“I hope you didn’t drag me half through Arkham’s tunnels just to disappoint me,” Joker warned, his pout turning sour.

John cocked an eyebrow at the clown, then waved his hand over the flame of his lighter. With a few quick words the flames grew larger. It billowed up as John quickly recited the proper Latin phrases and spread across the room in a blast. The room became bright as flames consumed the air but did not hurt Joker or John. It was a cleansing flame. Just enough to disturb the protective spell over the bindings for whatever spirit creature was spawned in the caves. John didn’t want to piss it off. Not while he still hadn’t found the source that called the spirit in the first place. 

Joker started to pat his gown as though to check for any burns as the flames had died down and John ignored his impulse to watch. Instead he went to the cluster of rocks revealed by the flames that lay with old bones half decayed scattered around. John picked up what was most likely a femur and spotted an etching. The spirit had fed on whoever this person was to gain a form most likely.

Large teeth this one.

The rocks had blood on them from a ritual. Combine that with the spell, and John’s ability to feel the bindings in the cave now. It all pointed to one type of creature.

“Alright, I’ll admit the flames were a nice touch,” Joker said, coming near John and toeing a foot at the bones. “I take it whatever you wanted to find is more exciting than some dead guy.”

“A spirit that feeds off the mental energy of others to the point of driving them insane,” John answered, standing up and listening for the beast in the caves. It would be big and mean. John would have to call in a favor or two for this one.

“A spirit?” Joker asked, skeptically. “You sure you are a tourist and not a permanent member of the exclusive club upstairs?”

“As sure as I am that the spirit will be here any minute to kill us since we are in its source,” John replied, already figuring out who could do the ritual with him to remove this creature. It would have to be someone with a strong will, and someone John wouldn’t mind binding his body to for a bit.

Well, the list was shorter than he hoped for.

“I’m sure I can handle whatever it is,” Joker answered, as he took out John’s dagger. “After all, this looks pretty handy.”

John touched the spot where his dagger had laid, finding it bare. He wasn’t quite sure when Joker had even taken it, and that should have been worrying. But John found himself a little more impressed. It wasn’t every day someone could lift an item from him.

“Well, aren’t you a bit of a sticky-fingered bastard,” John commented. He could see Joker struggling between wanting to preen under the compliment and being annoyed that John wasn’t bothered.

No. John was far from upset.

“Bet you even know who’s bones these are,” John said wistfully, and shoved his hands in his pockets. Unafraid of the murderous man in front of him wielding a powerful dagger, and who scared a spirit that feasted on mental energy. That said a lot about Joker and what dwelled in his mind that a spirit of ravenous hunger wouldn’t touch him.

Joker’s lips curled slowly as his eyes narrowed like cat who just spotted a clever mouse.

“Why, it’s this island’s founder,” Joker answered. “Jeramiah Arkham. Died down here after losing his last marble. Who else would build a house for the mad but a mad man? Poetry, if you think about it.”

John’s eyes went to the bones.

“Guessing the unlucky bastard was driven mad by the spirit he summoned, then the spirit feasted on him to gain enough strength to stay on this plane,” John sighed. “Rough way to go too.”

“Who cares about a pile of old bones!” Joker said, pointing the dagger under John’s chin and that should give an excited jolt in the gut. “You promised me entertainment. A way to piss off Batman, not go around kicking bones, and making a light show.”

“Are you a virgin?”

“That’s not polite to ask a lady,” Joker quipped though he did press his body closer. John could almost feel the heat of him.

“I meant, has your blood been used in a ritual before?” John asked.

Joker tilted his head slightly in thought, and John stopped himself from calling him cute out loud. There were just some things a man shouldn’t do while a dagger was under his chin. Calling the murderous clown of Gotham cute was probably one of those things. Didn't mean John couldn't think it.

“You gonna try to sacrifice me,” Joker asked, though he didn’t seem mad. It appeared to excite him if the shifting on the balls of his feet, and giggling were an indication.

Then again, who knew with Joker.

“I bet you’d make one hell of a sacrifice, love,” John commented, his mind already conjuring images of the man laid bare, tied down to a table. “But not for this. I need a bit of blood, and we’d have to be bound by magic for the ritual to get rid of the spirit.”

“And why would I want to do a silly thing like that?”

“Because with everyone else going a little _less_ crazy in Arkham, Batman can focus his attentions elsewhere,” John said, his expression pleasant, even when he knew he had Joker trapped. When that lovely little smile spread across his face. “Wouldn’t that be worth it?”

“We talkin’ about handcuffed by magic,” Joker asked, the dagger grazing gently on John’s neck as Joker looked at his lips, then back up to John’s eyes. “Or, more pleasurable ways?”

“Pleasure,” John purred. “Nothing gets the magic going like blood and sex. All you have to do is let me take the lead if you're alright with that. And do you prefer top or bottom, love?”

“Bottom,” Joker's grin curled. “Lead the way.”

Then John smelled it. Sulfur. Strong. Coming from the only way they could leave.

“First, we have to secure the tunnel to prevent us from being rudely interrupted,” John jerked his head towards the tunnel. “I’d point the dagger that way, love. We’re about to have some nasty company.”

“My favorite kind,” Joker grinned, and turned just as the thudding of something large echoed down the tunnel.

John glanced at Joker who looked feral at that moment. Pure excitement at the idea of something terrible coming down that tunnel at them. John could feel a ripple of something. Just out of sight, as though it didn’t exist, however John knew better than that. He had seen too much of this world to brush it off. Joker had an energy about him that was brighter than hellfire. And John would know.

He was so busy staring he almost missed the creature coming in to kill them. Fortunately for John, he always had luck on his side. And a rather extensive knowledge of the occult didn’t hurt.

“Fuck!” John cursed as the spirit’s energy wrapped around his body, attempting to crush him. John freed a hand and pushed the spirit away with magic. Not difficult to do normally but this spirit had been feasting on the insane for nearly a century. That gave it strength.

John took a deep breath, centered himself, and started a protection spell on the entrance. If the spirit could be held back for a few minutes, he could call on a favor or two in order to banish it. The only issue was most of John’s friends who could help with the situation would be blocked by the protection spell. And the creature was hardly letting John get in a word edgewise to summon something else.

The barrier went up as the beast prowled outside in the tunnel, waiting for John’s spell the fail. The shocks against the magic were enough to let John know the barrier wouldn’t last forever. He had a good five or so minutes, which was a shame. He would have liked to really spend some time with Joker.

John didn’t get a chance to look for Joker before a dagger was lifted to his neck again, and a warm body pressed against his back. The dagger was wet, and John could see a long slash across the creature. John froze for a moment, unsure what he should do.

“I take it, that’s the spirit?” Joker asked, his breath tickling John’s ear, and shooting a pleasant sensation down below. “Are you going to take the lead, or do I have to do all the work around here?”

Instead of answering, John twisted quickly, the blade cutting into his skin enough to bleed but not damage, and pinned Joker against the cave wall. He pressed their bodies together and held Joker’s wrists up to prevent the clown from attacking him again. John groaned as he felt Joker’s excitement against his own, and then Joker surged forward to capture John’s lips.

John wasn’t proud that his knees felt a bit weak as Joker kissed him like a drowning man needing air, but damned if he was going to stop now. John had to move his mouth away, away from that tongue that caused his brain to fog up and stop his hips from thrusting into Joker’s. He had a ritual to do, and only a few minutes to do it in.

And he really wanted to fuck this man into the ground.

John brought up his hand to touch the blood from his cut and used it to paint a mark on Joker’s collarbone, as his mouth went to the man’s neck, tasting the salty sweetness of his skin with his tongue. It was a good choice, as Joker’s moans echoed through the caves and they went straight to John’s cock. John released the wrist not holding the dagger in favor of tugging Joker’s hips into his, sending a lovely jolt of pleasure through him.

John murmured Latin against Joker’s skin as he felt the clown use his new freedom to unbuckle John’s belt and make quick work of the trousers separating them. John felt the moment the spell started as a rush of magic poured over both. It was warm, like being dunked in a hot bath, and he heard Joker’s sudden inhale as the man felt it too.

John looked at Joker’s face. Joker’s expression was ecstasy, his beautiful lips slightly parted, eyes closed, and head thrown back against the cave wall. The blood drawn on his skin glowed a pretty orange, letting it paint across Joker’s body. John took the dagger from Joker’s gentle grasp, and cut the hospital gown from him, tearing away the barrier between them. If John thought he was pretty before, he was gorgeous now. He was nearly hairless, with only a patch of dark at the base of his slender cock, wiry muscles under nearly translucent pale skin. Every movement showed in his frame, his back arching, and hips twitching, trying to gain contact, reaching out for John, and John fell to his knees to have a taste for himself.

When John could, he liked to indulge in magical sex. It wasn’t the safest way to go about things, but damned if it wasn’t better than any pill he could get off the streets. And since he was already neck deep in trouble from using magic during sex, he might as well go the whole way with it.

Be a shame to waste the opportunity after all.

As John took Joker into his mouth, his fingers worked a spell. He could feel the hum of magic below his skin, and it vibrate as it spilled into Joker’s skin from John’s fingertips. Joker’s spine arched, shoving his cock deeper into John’s mouth as the spell did its work, twisting into Joker from behind, loosening up the muscles, warming him, and pressing inside. The magic twisted to John's will, and John was going to make Joker sing.

John was almost jealous that the clown was getting the full treatment, but he loved the noises. Whines escaped Joker’s lips, desperate, and ringing. Joker’s body twitching as though he didn’t know which way to concentrate his effort, the warm sucking mouth of his cock or the thrusting magic in his ass, fucking him harder than any man could. The rough tugs from Joker’s hands pulled at John’s hair, making a mess, and showed how desperately Joker needed to hold on against the sensations.

Not the mention how much John enjoyed the taste of his cock as it pulsed in John’s mouth on every drag up and down the length, working with the magic. He hummed, letting Joker know how much he loved his work, feeling the muscles beneath Joker's skin quiver around him.

It wasn’t long until Joker was crying out and John tasted him on his tongue, swallowing everything he was given as the spell constricted around them. The first bond finally working its way under John’s skin now that he had consumed some of Joker. Joker’s skin started to glow softly, radiating from his crotch, crawling up his skin until it covered everything while Joker was still panting against the wall as the orgasm hit him longer than normal. A pity the glowing was only visible to John.

Ah, magic. Sometimes it was a blessing.

John could feel the barrier start to fail as the spirit pounded for entrance, however it couldn’t harm them now. Though it still needed to be banished before it could gather enough strength to haunt the island again. That would take a full second trip to complete. Or… _hmmm_

There was a thought.

John ran his thumb across the dagger, cutting himself deep enough to let his blood truly flow. Then he moved his way up Joker’s body, planting kisses along his path, enjoying the tingling static electricity of magic coming off Joker’s body in waves while his thumb drew bloody circles, marks of seal, onto Joker’s skin. A few mutters words, and the barrier was no longer needed.

The spirit rushed inside to get at them, and John smirked.

John looked into Joker’s eyes, his blown pupils, that blazingly green iris surrounding it. Even fucked out, pulsing with more magic than the man had probably felt in his whole life, Joker’s mind was still calculating. Just below the surface, there was a tangled web of thoughts, connections, reaching out into spaces he shouldn’t have access to. No one without magic should. And yet.

“No wonder you scared it,” John muttered against Joker’s lips.

“I scare lots of things, darling,” Joker whispered back, their mouths brushing against each other, breath mixing as the heat pooled around them once more as the magic demanded they complete the ritual, and one pissed off spirit made harmless attacks to John’s back, its attempts only making the spell impatient. And the bastard Joker, he smiled.

“Do I scare _you_ , John?”

John couldn’t even be surprised. Not anymore. Not when he saw that vastness behind Joker’s eyes. Instead, he did what came naturally, what his instincts were telling him to do, and he kissed Joker once more. Open mouthed, dirty, and hot. Letting the clown taste himself on John’s tongue, and feeling Joker delightfully suck on the flavor.

John stripped out of his clothes, John tearing at them, each moaning as their skin met one another. Each time was intense, a vibration the went to their cores, and kept the fire going. The need pushed them forward, biting, touching, and stroking each other in desperation. It wasn’t long until Joker was lying on his stomach, John’s clothes offering a balm against the harsh ground, and John behind him, gently rocking himself into the man.

The best part about binding magic. Everything Joker was feeling, John felt, and vice versa. Their bodies went into sync, moving in ways that pleased them both. The tightness of Joker’s body, the brush of John’s cock against Joker’s prostate, it was felt by each. Their pleasure rolled together, John feeling the phantom burn of his blood sigils on Joker’s skin. His own skin throbbing in time with the pain from them, but his mind received Joker’s sensations. The sparks of pleasure from the pain. How John’s bites became better the more pressure he applied. The coppery taste of blood in John’s mouth, echoed between them until John wasn’t even sure it was him who had the blood in his teeth and Joker with ecstasy coming from his neck.

Joker didn’t have to say anything for John to know what he needed, just as John didn’t need any words. Joker shifted up, angling his body so John’s thrusts went deeper than before. John seeing stars behind his eyelids as though he were the one being fucked. Their breathing became one, pants, moans, it all melted together into one song.

They came together, a wash of pleasure shooting through each of their bodies, vibrating together as though they were one being, cycling back in a feedback loop until everything else, the cave, the harsh ground scrapping their knees bloody, the chill of the air from above all faded away. John and Joker’s lips moved together; their thoughts entwined on a deeper level for a split second.

John felt the press of Joker’s mind. It was there on his conscious, as though it were his own, and his world flipped suddenly. The expanse of his being was cut adrift as flashes of life not his own poured out. His soul was hallowed, haunted in a different way than it had ever been. His rational thoughts scattered, then snapped harshly together when it came crashing back down.

John gasped loudly, his skin soaked in sweat, every nerve still tingling as he touched a live wire, and faded copper on his tongue. The memories of another life faded from him as though he had woken from a nightmare. His consciousness tried to hold onto them even as their horror lingered. No good would come of it. The air no longer smelled of sulfur, or stale water, but sex, magic, and some form of Joker John couldn’t quite place. Spicy, burnt, sour, but sweet and cold like the first day of winter.

Madness and mint.

That sounded about right.

There was a sharp pain on his chest that snapped John awake, making him hiss through his teeth, and remembering there was a mass murderer in the room. One that he just fucked. He saw Joker’s green hair, ruffled from their activities, and Joker’s mischievous grin as he lifted his mouth from biting at John’s nipple.

“Thought I lost you there,” Joker said in a falsely sweet tone. “What with all that rambling in Latin that you were just doing. It’s not a good sign to go mad under the mad house.”

“Been there, done that,” John said, then his hand came up to Joker’s hair. He watched Joker’s intense eyes on his for a few seconds, then tugged Joker up. Joker complied, and they kissed softly this time. The intense burning of the magic was gone, but the remembrance of it was enough for them to moan.

They parted, and without much fuss, John handed Joker his trousers and shirt. After all, John had cut off Joker’s gown in the heat of things. Wouldn’t trade that fun memory for some worn clothes any day of the week. It was firmly going into John’s spank bank for future lonely nights. As well as Joker’s ass when he bent down to pull up the trousers.

John pulled out his cigarettes, offering Joker one who declined. John took a deep inhale, almost regretting the wash of ash covering his taste of Joker.

“Well, this has been fun,” Joker commented, forcing the belt tighter on his hips as John’s trousers were big on him. John repressed the argue to call him cute once more. “Who knew ghost busting was that exciting?”

“Not always,” John answered. “We just got lucky.”

“Lucky again, huh?” Joker said too nonchalantly, making John consider how much Joker saw in his head during their brief bond.

“My card, love,” John said, reaching into his coat to pull out one of his cards, then he slipped it into his trousers that Joker was wearing, his fingers brushing intimately against Joker, lingering for a second longer before pulling away. “Any more spiritual trouble, or just in the need for a bit of fun. Don’t hesitate to give us a ring.”

“Aren’t you cocksure,” Joker commented, though he did come forward, tilting his head.

“I’ve seen in your head, love,” John reminded him as he tugged on his trench coat. Glad it was big enough to cover him until he could find some new clothes. “Be lying if I wasn’t flattered at the thoughts.”

“And I’ve seen yours,” Joker answered with a wide, unkind grin. “I should kill you for the trespass.”

Joker held the dagger, having swiped it once more when John wasn’t paying attention. It was aimed at John’s kidney. A simple step forward and it would have plunged into him, killing him quite quickly. Instead, Joker flipped it, holding it handle out towards John as an offering, which was accepted.

Joker’s kiss swollen lips not taking away from his menacing presence. John only felt mildly better having the dagger in his own hands now.

“But I think it’ll be more fun watching what you’ll do with all that guilt and power,” Joker said, then leaned in, plucked the cigarette from John to give him a kiss. It took strength not to yank Joker in when he pulled away. He smiled once more; the malice completely erased from his face as though it never existed. “Now, I’ve got to see a man about a bat problem”.

John watched as Joker pranced out of the cave, his hips swaying slightly, knowing what that was doing to John’s libido. Joker brought the cigarette to his own lips as he left, leaving a trail of smoke and ash in his wake. The hint of sulfur lingered in the air. John glanced at the rocks that started the trouble and wondered.

Maybe he shouldn’t have trapped that spirit in Joker after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Want to leave more than kudos? [Buy me a Kofi!](https://ko-fi.com/thetilly)


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